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DAVID GAGE IS used to seeing small-business partners at their worst: when they're at odds.

As a psychologist who mediates partner disputes, Gage knows the devastating impact a faltering relationship can have on a small company, its employees, and even the partners' health and well-being. "When partners are struggling, there's usually so much at risk," says Gage, co-founder of mediation firm BMC Associates in Arlington, Va. "Lives can be turned upside down."

When business partners get along, it's usually their mix of complementary skills, good rapport and shared ambitions that can turn a fledgling venture into an entrepreneurial success. But when there are disagreements — often, triggered or worsened by rigorous schedules, pressures to succeed and shifting job responsibilities — the opposite is true.

When Sarah Welch began butting heads with her partner, Alicia Rockmore, she knew the two had to work out their differences to keep their business thriving and their close friendship intact. The two, who met in 1996 while working on a corporate branding campaign, launched a company that sells products that help people get organized called Buttoned Up in 2004. They were fortunate to quickly land contracts with Target and The Container Store. But when "you go from no distribution to national distribution, that is a crash course in stress," she says.

By early 2007, their complementary-but-different work styles were leading to tension. Welch, more of a creative, "big-picture" type, frequently found herself at odds with Rockmore, who is more of a detail-oriented, task-minded type. The two sought help in mediator Danny Frankel, of Martin Frankel Associates in Winston-Salem, N.C. "We didn't want to waste our energy on stupid frustration that shouldn't be there," Welch says. At an all-day session (inside a meeting room at their lawyer's office in New York), Frankel worked with them on identifying the trouble spots, finding ways that both could constructively voice frustration, and figuring out ways to handle future disagreements.

"We rolled up our sleeves and recommitted ourselves," says Welch. "It was probably one of the best things we did." Not only have the two repaired their relationship, but their company reached $1 million in annual sales by the end of 2007, a new milestone.

Business partners who are unable to find common ground might consider using the services of a mediator trained in conflict resolution. Those services, however, usually aren't cheap. Gage, for instance, charges as much as $20,000 for a three-day retreat in which the struggling partners work out their troubles with the help of a two-person team (typically, one specializing in business, the other in psychology).

Here are other tips to get a business partnership back on track:

Have a sit-down. Meet outside the office, in a neutral place where you can focus on the problems without being distracted. That can be in a quiet restaurant, a hotel conference room or a rented meeting space in a conference facility. And come prepared. "Each person should make a list of what the issues are before they get together, and then review the list with one another," suggests Gage.

Evaluate the trouble spots. What exactly has come between you? Break down the items on your list into the categories of "interpersonal" or "business" to tease out what the fundamental problems are, Gage says. If partners are clashing because of personalities, work styles or values, that's interpersonal; if it's arguments over ownership or job performance, that's business.

Get creative. Once you've pinpointed the issues, invent ways to handle the conflict and prevent its recurrence. For instance, discuss ways that you can express frustration without upsetting the other person. Agree to address disagreements as soon as they arise. Talk about how to pinpoint warnings signs. Set up a way to monitor progress, such as regular meetings once a quarter. "Create a forum for continued discussion and dialogue," says Glenn Okun, clinical professor of management and entrepreneurship at New York University's Stern School of Business. "It's the communication ultimately, that makes these kinds of relationships durable and effective."

Redefine roles. Don't forget: As a company grows, partners' job responsibilities are likely to change. Revisit the ownership stake that each of you has in the business. "Founders often sow the seeds of the problem by splitting the equity evenly and setting equal salaries," Okun says. But as time goes by, one partner might feel he or she is contributing more and deserves more profits. Or, a partner might want to reduce his or her responsibilities because of a changing family situation. Renegotiate your partnership agreement, if necessary. "It's unrealistic to think we will foresee everything at the founding of a business," Okun says.

Restore trust. Especially in a small business, partners have to rely on others to make quick decisions — sometimes, independently of one another. That's why "a partnership depends on a foundation of trust," says Frankel, the mediator who worked with the Buttoned Up founders. He reminds clashing partners that in many cases, "the incidents that cause the trust to fall apart were just misunderstood." One person says "'why didn't you ask?' and then the other says 'oh my gosh, if I had, I never would have doubted you,'" Frankel says. Share feelings, listen to each other and then use what happened to strengthen your relationship. "It sounds trite, but it's so true," he says.

"Balancing Work & Life," a weekly column written by Colleen DeBaise for smSmallBiz.com, advises entrepreneurs on how to better balance their lives. Write to her at cdebaise@smartmoney.com.